Back by Popular Demand (Minor Thoughts #6)

Literally, I've been sitting here for a week or so trying to figure out what to talk about. What to tell my readers after missing in action since before Springbreak. I mean, I could have blogged about how fun Springbreak was. The weather in Florida, the waterpark, and all the cartoon characters I hung out with. Then I thought, no, maybe that would be rubbing it in the face of people who didn't do anything. I was going to talk about how I've been feeling lately. All the thoughts, the weird dreams, the rough transition back to being a student. That got nixed because this isn't a journal. I want to give you something worth reading, not some "whoa-is-me" look at my life. I wrote down some ideas for topics, about money, about giving your all, things like that. But, I felt like I was forcing it. This isn't a homework assignment. This is my outlet, my practice, my craft, and my readers. All owed more than my lackadaisical attitude lately. So, what should I do? I look around, I wait for an answer, and in the silence I realize that I should just write. It doesn't matter about what. If I start something, it will get finished somehow. Where we end up is not always where we planned when we started. But I'm sure that if I reach a conclusion, I reached it for a reason. What I'm here to tell you all is to not be your own worst enemy.

I'm a perfectionist. At least I try to be. I don't want to give anyone the chance to bad mouth anything that I have going on. I leave room for no one to point out the flaws in my disposition. I walk with a purpose, I write for a reason, and I am who I am because who I was yesterday wasn't good enough to get me to my dreams. While I feel that's a good attitude to have, overcontrol is not only a bad thing, it's virtually impossible. See, I feel like I should be in control of every situation. If I walk out the door, I should get across the street a certain way, sit in a certain seat in class, come back home at a certain time, procrastinate, eat, and head back out the door at a certain time. When I get to class, I should wait for my professor to talk for a few minutes, other people will raise their hands, and they will have a decent conversation. When they want to hear from someone else, I will raise my hand, say what I have to say, and I'm done for the day. So, if throughout the course of that plan, something is thrown off, I'm thrown off. I can't have that. I need to know how to handle when things don't go the way I expect them to. Besides that, 9 times out of 10, things aren't going to go the way I want to anyway. So while over control is impossible, the closer I get to it is inevitable my own downfall. In trying to control everything, I leave no room for the randoms, and sudden occurrences that make life worth living. I can't try new things, see new sights, and enjoy new pleasures because things may be a bit too structured. I've learned that you'll never learn how to get around unless you get lost.

With that, my writings have suffered with constant over thinking and perfection. I have nothing to write about because there is nothing going on. I'm so concerned with the future that I can't be concerned with right now. I want to be better, without getting better. I'm so worried about what publicists and readers will think that I haven't focused on what I think. I'm one of the most detailed people you will ever meet, yet even I should appreciate the subtlety of watching things develop.


In figuring out who I am and what I want in this life, I must start with the question, and answer it accordingly. I encourage everyone to do the same. Because forgetting who you are and why will only lead to . . . you guessed it . . . failure.
Don't be one, write something down.

Question of the Day (Update)

Again, never the smut pusher or gossip guru, I don't really too much care and I'm not really too much affected by what celebrities have done, are doing, or will do. However, I felt that with the nature of the last Question of the Day response, readers who hadn't already heard, should hear the news. Today (or at least I've seen it only today) the official police report was released concerning the issue of Rihanna and Chris Brown. Reading the report, I was uneasy. I felt empathy for her and just couldn't imagine how terrifying the whole ordeal had to be. Personally, I could go on some rant right now about how I feel about said victimizer, but I feel like that, indeed, would be smut peddling since it's not about personal feelings of the messenger, but of the victim. A few excerpts from the report states that, "Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown's cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.


A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion."

As the article continues, it goes on to mention the felonious threats and further beatings that Brown gave to Rihanna. Like I said, my heart goes out to her for having to go through such a potentially traumatic situation. Growing up, I only had to witness domestic violence, but thankfully those involved survived and were able to move on before any permanent, serious damage was done. I pray that any out there having to deal with this or any other type of abuse can safely and effectively find a way out. Click here to view full article. I hope somehow this whole situation can be a tool to help or teach someone who needs it a valuable lesson. So until next time, this has been you very rare update. Unlike Brown, you shouldn't be a failure.