Faithful is Our God

I think I've realized something important over this weekend, and I've decided to share it with the people who pay me some attention. I was thinking about college, and how I feel about it, and how it probably feels about me. But in the midst of my usual rant about the experience, I started thinking about my appreciation (or lack thereof) and treatment of the situation. Every obstacle that I've come across at this institution is partially my own fault. Now, when I thought about that, it made me a little mad, but then I thought about the way I had handled every obstacle that came my way. See, what I did was, I internalized it, made it personal, and gave my anger back to the world from whence it came. Now, the problem with that was, none of what happened to me was personal, or even COMPLETELY my fault. College was and is supposed to be one of the best, most exciting times of my life, and I just let it steal from me something that it had no right to take. And that, my friends, was my fault. Like, university was university before it ever met me. At no point have they ever shown any favoritism to someone in my position. To them, I am simply my ID number, and a check in the mail. That's fine. College is a business, and it always has been. However, I felt like everything that happened to me here was personal; a sign that not only do I not belong here, but I should leave as soon as possible, because I'm also not wanted here. I let that thought marinate in my mind for four long years, and just now I understood what was going on ...

I look at things the wrong way sometimes. In my quest to understand it all, I dig in to the depths of a lot of things, trying to see it from all angles, with all the hope in the world of seeing where this all comes from. Often times, in my over-analysis, I may come across an answer, several answers, and pick the one that makes the most sense to me. In making the most sense to me, it may not necessarily be the right one. Like, I used to think that things happened to me because of the person that I am. Maybe I wronged someone, the thoughts or things I do lead to nothing good coming my way. Not saying I'm a bad person, but sometimes you go to church and you see how well everyone inside is doing and you feel like maybe you don't worship enough, or maybe you aren't religious enough, or you don't love strong enough. But I don't believe any of that applies to me. If anything, I think that in certain circumstances I do all of this more than a lot of people inside the church, with greater application of some of the concepts taught inside the church.

Anyway, I used to think that when troubles would arise in my life, it was either a sign I was going the wrong way, doing the wrong things, or my prayers just weren't being answered. Like now, sometimes I just feel like I don't have any help in my situations, and I can't keep a fake smile up under the laws of gravity. But, today I thought about it from a different point of view: Maybe, just maybe, it's actually HARDER to handle the good things in life, than it is to handle all the negative things. Think about it: You pray for a house, a car, money, or anything ... it is way more difficult to maintain those things than it is for some maliciousness to befall upon them. Just like its way easier to get a cold, than it is to get rid of it. Getting the cold being negative, getting rid of it being positive. I applied that to my trials and tribulations: I can go through a number of different things at once, but when I get those good things, am I strong enough to handle them as well as I've handled the bad things? I envision God saying something like, "My son, I have nothing planned for you that would involve ill-will or malice against you, however, you are only human. I hear your cries, but don't forget, you are made in my image, and all that you need to overcome these odds is already with you. I would have thought you understood that by now." Of course, I'm paraphrasing, but I'm sure you get the idea. I don't think God isn't listening, I think God is watching. Like a parent of a child who has fallen and scrapped his knee, God wants to see if I can get up on my own, and later, He'll kiss it and make it all better. It's not that I can't do anything, it's that I'm not doing it. I'm sure the blessing in store for me are already there, waiting for me to claim them, but I'm not using the lessons I've already learned good enough yet to show that I'm able to receive AND maintain them as necessary.

Hope I didn't lose you there, but I feel like I'm thinking it faster than I can type it. So, as this applies to school, I allowed the situations I experienced to overshadow the bigger picture of what college is supposed to be. College is life experience, its a stepping stone to something greater, and whether good or bad, applying myself with the fullness of my abilities will be rewarded. I think God helps those who help themselves, but I'll have to double-check on that for you. If I had it to do again, I'd simply go on enjoying myself, learning, and experiencing the important life lessons that come along with the journey. My brother told me a while ago that being the kind of person I am, none of what goes on can possibly be my fault. It's only a test to see if I'm ready for whatever's better for me. I really appreciate him saying that, because now I can keep doing what I know is right.

Profile Me

So there's an ongoing debate amongst the community (I'm sure any community with internet access) about the role of social networks. Basically, two arguments are leading the charge: The right to privacy and freedom of speech and those who believe that your profile is more important than who you are. Let's break this down; some of us use these social networking sites as a way to connect with their friends, family, etc. believing that what's shared in there's and there's only. No one has the right to censor their activity nor their conversations because of their 1st amendment rights. I agree with this. Anything I say is my business. Anything on my page is my business and shouldn't be used against me in any way because no one outside of my network understands the context of what's being said or what's being done.

That's pretty simple to understand, right? Let's look at the other side of the argument:

If you say something or post something, because your name and face is associated with what's being said and done, that represents a part of you. Employers may look at your profile, see your likes and dislikes, or see pictures you've been in, and notice that the majority of your life revolves around activities that may not represent their companies in the proper fashion. You tell your parents that you're in college, using their money for its intended use, however, your status said you just woke up late for class due to a hangover from the wild party from the night before. You can understand why your parents may be upset at your actions and have a hard time trusting that you're doing what's right. I must also agree with this. If the shoe fits, you have to wear it. There is evidence out here that supports the idea that you may not be who you say you are. See, people believe what they can see. Change is conceptual, pictures are for real. If I can see a picture of you doing something, but you tell me how much you've changed, then I'll admit, it is harder for me to believe what you're saying when there's hard evidence right in front of my face. That's just logical. You can walk outside and know the sky is blue because as you look, you see, the sky is blue. It was blue yesterday, it'll probably be blue tomorrow. Now, if someone ran in and said the sky was orange, for whatever reason, you still would need proof. Facts usually outweigh opinion.

So, we've seen both sides of the argument, now let's talk about what it really is.

If you're too impressionable to handle what you're seeing in a mature way, then maybe you don't need to spend your days surveying the website looking for things to complain about. It would be one thing if you were looking to hire someone for some job, but you aren't, then what you need to do is understand that this profile only represents me; it is who I want others to see me as. Meaning, if you've never sat down and had a conversation with me, gotten to know me on a more personal level, or taken the time to see me outside of the image portrayed on these sites, then you have no right to judge me. Actually, if you're a Christian, you have no right to judge me at all. To make things a little more general, think about the fact that if something is said, I'm sure its said for a reason. Whether its a rap lyric, a thought, an emotion, or just a moment, something is said for a reason. And how its said is probably a good indication of what's going on. That is NOT, I repeat, NOT your cue to enter the situation throwing your opinions around. Especially when they have nothing to do with my situation. I'll give you an example:

Status: Such-n-Such tired of these fake ass nigga actin like they the shit grow up and be a man for once and stop actin like a bitch

Reply: Aw [Such-n-Such] angry about something, whats with all the bad words, remember alot of ur Aunts is on this web site. Be a little respectful! Its OK i do understand.

Now what did that reply have to do with the issue at hand? If anything, shouldn't the person replying see in what ways the poster needed help, instead of talking about how she felt about seeing the post? Who's the priority here? The person with the issue, or the person offended by the language? I bet she never took the time to think, like, "You know what, niggas are fake these days" and "They probably should grow up and be men." Makes sense to me. But, the point of it all is to say this; some people just take things too serious. That's just it. On both ends. Those who feel the need to say what they want may very well say things so off the wall that, in actuality, their making a cry for help. They may think they're making a point, but perhaps they aren't going about it in the right way. Also, the people who judge others on what's on the site also take things too serious. If your pure, innocent, virgin eyes can't handle the harsh, disabling information that you see on the site, then maybe you don't need to be a part of it all.

In the end, I don't take any of it seriously. If someone says something that throws up flags for me, then I'll either ask what's wrong, or depending on the context, keep my distance; not everything is my business. Also, I won't say anything too serious or dramatic on my site because I'm not the type of person who desires that type of attention. I say things in fun, in song, or to get it off my chest so that the burden ceases to weigh down on me. But, if I choose to say something out-of-the-way, I have every right to (well, if you still believe in democracy and privacy).

I think I've said all that needs to be said here. I know this issue won't go away because there are so many people on both sides of this issue. What side will you take? Until we meet again, please Please, PLEASE ... don't be a failure!

Relationships are Difficult

Relationships ARE difficult. For some that may be a great understatement, and for others, simply the truth. But for everyone, I do believe the concept of trying to spend your life with another person is not a very easy task. Everyone you talk to, involved or single, has relationships issues; whether the single person can't find anyone or the person involved isn't with the person they're with at that very moment. But I think the simplicity of this statement is the hardest to grasp; YOUR relationship is YOUR relationship. You aren't in a relationship with "men", "women", or "everyone", you're in a relationship with the person you chose to take that journey with. With that said, you can't treat your relationship like an owner's manual. There's not "Congratulations, welcome to YOUR relationship" that begins any book that will give you answers based on chapters and prior experiences. What we all have to realize is that if we want something positive to come out of our experiences with others, we have to put something positive into that relationship. To simplify even further, think about it as a piggy bank; you put your loose change into your piggy bank only to save up and use that money later. But if you never drop any loose change in, you can never get any change out. (Initially, I thought that would be a horrible example, but it turned out to be a great one.)


I think titles really put a strain on any natural chemistry two people may have with one another. Though, I do understand their purpose. I know people who've been hurt by thinking they had something special with someone only to be heartbroken and betrayed by someone claiming that they weren't "official." It's incidences like that, that makes it hard for people who legitimately desire to make another person happy. If I present the idea of not giving a title to a lady, they'll assume I'm just trying to play them. While I'm not with them, I'm probably with some other girl telling her the exact same thing. And in the end, I can't be held accountable for my actions because it was a mutual agreement not to give each other titles. That's just not the case! I, personally, think title do more harm than good because they give a person a "status." A status is a condition, position, a state of being, and most most unfortunately, a default. Think about someone pledging for a fraternity or a sorority; once they go through all they have to go through to become a member of that organization, they never have to do those same things to remain a member of that organization. Once they've pledged and passed, they are now who they are and receive all the acclaim of the organization. Relationships aren't like that. You can't give your all trying to get with someone then stop once you've crossed that line from friend to more-than-friend. If someone gives me the title of "boyfriend" I can't stop courting (that means dating in old-people language) her, treating her sweet, saying and doing nice things. I can't rest on my reputation when dealing with a woman. My job is a never ending one. The same goes for whomever engages in a relationship with a man.


Ladies, what I need you to understand is that it is NOT okay to treat your man like you're doing him a favor by being with him! As I look at my generation and the one coming after of us, I don't find a lot of hope in the ladies I'm supposed to seek out for companionship. With so much bitterness, hardness, and stereotyping, its harder than ever to make a relationship work. With so many external forces such as haters, long-distance, life experience, etc. out there attempting to pull you apart, why can't we find some safe haven internally? I mean, what else are you in the relationship for other than to be there for one another? Seems to me that anything else is a waste of time. Ladies, I'm just asking you to just step back for a second, think about what he's saying, and see if it genuinely makes sense. Look at yourselves and see if there's anyway to make that man's job any easier. Sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, we are right. We do legitimately love and care for you, but sometimes the biggest struggle comes from the very person we're trying to help.


Fellas, because of what a few of us have done in the past, it is very difficult to find a woman willing to take the chance. See, the fellas I'm talking to, I know can use this information because I try not to associate with the "other" type of fellas that are completely opposite. On this day, we're considered soft because women have gotten so hard, and the situation is all bad. They won't let their guard down and our feeling are crushed from the pressure. It could very soon become a never-ending cycle; women turn us down, we stop trying; we revert back to the ways of the "niggas" before us, then women get their feelings hurt; only to harden their hearts once again. What we need to do is show them the best in us. We can't make them look, but we can make it hard not to notice. When they see that their attitudes don't turn us away, when their words are met with understanding, when their yells and screams are met with a calm and response, they will see that what the expect and what they've experienced won't be replayed here. I'll show you that I'm special, because talk is cheap; everyone can afford it.


Finally, you have to make your relationship YOUR relationship. You can't assume that because you have the title that you've done all you need to do to win the fight. Basically, no book is going to tell you how your relationship will be; your friends can't tell you and your parents can't help you. You have to gain an understanding of who this person is you're with, take into account all that they have to offer, and counter with figuring out if you can provide what it is their asking for. Don't be too proud and say "I'm not changing for nobody!" If someone is willing to give up some of their self for your happiness, then you need to show your appreciation with willingness to do the same. If done right, you won't notice anything being given up at all, because their happiness will become a part of your own personality. It's a beautiful thing when through the coarse of your daily routine, without thinking, you've made someone else happy. Making them happy become a part of your job description, where you're payment is greater than any paycheck, stock option, or advancement opportunity. By the same token, with what I said earlier, don't let that title make you feel entitled to these luxuries. You can't demand someone to love you without giving them a reason to. You can't make someone care about your feelings when there's no reason to. Relationships are reciprocal. At least that's how they start. They grow and they evolve and soon it becomes hard to hard to remember what life was before that person became a part of you. But don't let the title go to your head, don't expect the worst merely because you've seen it before, no one can tell you how your relationship should be other than you and the person you share it with, and above all else, love is an action word.


I'm not relationship expert, I'm no counselor, and the view and opinion expressed here today may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the shared community. I may not even be someone who knows exactly what he wants, but I can for certain say what I don't want. I would just hope that anything I've said can help, shed some light, or at least make some sense. I believe that it may all help a little bit in your relationship endeavors and your plans to make things better. I know I need help every now and then, so maybe I'm not alone in that. Until next time, I wish you luck with you and yours.

All the Time in the World

Did you realize when you woke up this morning you had an advantage that a magnitude of people did not have? Now, I don't like thinking about life through the scope of the absence of it, but just understand that you are in a position that many wish that have the opportunity of being in. I sulk, and complain about college all day, but there is someone out there just wishing they could pick up a book. I often take for granted the situations life has afforded for me, because I don't think about things outside of myself. This right here, all that I do, it isn't only for me. Yes, it's my life, it's your life, but it is given meaning through the people you mean something to. That may be your children, your family, your significant other, etc. With that being said, you have to understand that the pressure you feel is only an indication that you are on the right path. Think of it as a push; a call to action; a pull toward what is meant for against the gravity that keeps you grounded. Why do you think the sky is the limit? It is with these points that I gladly announce to you all that you have all the time in the world to do what you need to do to prepare yourself for the better things in store for you. Life is a journey, the destination will be there no matter how long it takes, but it is the journey that make the best stories. I wouldn't want to hear about someone buying a new car, I'd love to hear about what that person needed to do to afford that new car. I don't even mean through death, or the afterlife. The destination is success in every sense of the word through what you place value in. My final point here is to please do those less fortunate a favor, and don't disrespect by not making the best of your situation. You have every opportunity they wish they had and every resource available to maintain it, so don't disrespect their dreams by taking you circumstances for granted. There is no reason why we shouldn't live up to our full potential. We have the pressure indicating whether or not the path we're on is the right one, we have the supporting cast that we close our eyes and visualize when we find that strength to keep moving through the storm, and we have the spirit of those less-fortunate than us that we should use to not only meet all expectations, but also give back to show them that their dreams can also become a reality. I live my life under the assumption that all necessary changes can be made as of yesterday; that's when I knew I needed to change, I planned it out today, and it will happen tomorrow. So don't worry about how long it may take for things to go your way, because if done right, you'll be blessed with all the time in the world.

My Community Genogram

Last week, in my counseling class, the professor asked us to create a community genogram. It is a counseling technique which allows patients to see how they are influenced by those around them, and encourages creativity. I remember my professor sent an e-mail days before this project was due saying there was no real wrong way to do; so at that point, I figured I'd throw something together at the last minute. What I developed was actually more than I thought it would be. Not only was this actually fun to do, it got me thinking. Initially, I wanted to make things simple; something easily understood and represented visually. However, what I came up with was a colorful and complex pattern of my upbringing and relationships. I felt really good about this assignment. Not only was I allowed to take a moment of my day to be creative, it was praised by the class for the amount of thought that went in to it. I'll attempt to give a run down on everything depicted here and the meanings behind each of the "capsules"; why they are where they are, the application of colors, and how I fit in with it all. My hope is that those reading this will also look in to how they relate with others, and how they are influenced. Like I said, not only was it a fun change of pace from the normal, bland assignments, it also allows you to think deeply, which I fear many of us don't quite often enough. Let us begin, shall we . . .


1.) Colors

Think back to arts and crafts, where you got to mix colors to create different colors. However simple that may seem, it was a big part of this genogram. For instance, notice [Mama & Daddy] in purple. I am represented by the color red while my siblings and their children are represented with blue. This is intentional as our parents are our base. So as we break away, we divide and individualize. Therefore, purple is created through the combination of red and blue; get it?


Speaking of blue, there is a reason why [Siblings] and [Nieces & Nephews] are the exact same color, and a reason there position stands as such. Because I was born pretty late compared to the other children, I've always been in the middle. My first nephew, being born less than two years after me, that really put me in a somewhat awkward position growing up. People always thought my parents were my grandparents, and my sisters did almost treat me more like parents than siblings. It's been a tug-of-war as to where I fit in, but I feel it's all for my benefit in one or another.

Finally for colors, as you've noticed, I'm represented with red. But friends (whether I actually have any or not is relevant for this particular instance) is represented by orange. [Friends] branch off into two categories: girlfriend and associates (or acquaintances). [Friends] and [Girlfriend], orange and pink respectively, represent how I would want my friendships to be. As orange is, in essence, a shade of red ultimately, I would want my friends to be a shade of me; meaning, my friends should relate and favor me in someway. The same holds true for why [Girlfriend] is pink; she should relate to me and there should be some type of representation of me within her. Associates is in gray because those are the people that you establish that beneficial Hi-and-Bye relationship with. They fade in and out of our lives sometimes so rapidly, that you may never notice them. Remember, your friends are a reflection of you, get it?

2.) Position

The shape of this diagram is actually a bit on an accident. Perhaps subconsciously I knew this way would make the most sense and add another dimension to the project overall. If you think about it like a potted plant, notice the base and the pot consist of family. I grow out from that and branch out into many different directions in life. Also, think about life from a very broad perspective; ultimately, we are forever torn between our parents and our friends. Everything they taught us from birth, our application of it, and the clash with new people that come in and out of our lives. See too, where college and high school are placed within the diagram. I placed them there initially to stop my growth, then friends and its branches would emerge. But, I do think academia has helped develop me into the person I am, no matter how much I've hated each stage of it. High School and college are where I've met the few friends I do have, my girlfriend, and those associates. So through those tabs, the plant, me, continues to grow.


This assignment shed some light on some things for me. The dimensions of who I am and the dimensions of the relationships I've established with other people. I am really happy with the outcome, and like I said, when I showed up to class and mine looked quite better than everyone else's lol! Seriously, I'd do another one of these if I had the time; one that encompasses more specific aspects, more specific relationships, etc. As I said, I encourage you to explore your relationships with people and see how they've influenced your life. You've influenced their life too, and you could also talk a lot about that, because as I've learned with counseling, the value of positive assets is critical. We all have them, and we all benefit from them. Thank you for sharing in my experience and I hope I can bring you more projects that I take pride in. I'm always talking about what I don't like about school, but this has given me the opportunity to speak about a highlight of it. Let's hope for more, enjoy!

Mysterious

God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? I mean, if God worked in more obvious ways all the time would what we receive be as exciting? My favorite thing about a lot of movies now-a-days is the unpredictability in them. We all think we've seen it all before at this point, but in all honesty, only one has actually seen and heard it all. Our intelligence and our ways of thinking are not the same as His, therefore, we remain confused on subjects in which His named is brought up. It's not that some of us have not studied what He has done, what He has taught, and what He represents; it's that we cannot know because we do not have the ability to think of the same levels as He does. Could you imagine if you knew everything? How much pressure would be on your shoulders to not only hold-on to that knowledge, but use that knowledge wisely. Not only that, but learning how to handle so many truths that we aren't accustomed to handling here on Earth because our inability to comprehend it's magnitude; I can't imagine. I'd lie awake at night thinking about all that I don't know. BUT, it calms me down knowing that there is a reason why I don't know, and it's okay not to. I didn't come here today to preach to anyone, I just came here because I was having some thoughts and I wanted to clear my head. Come along with me anyway, you may learn something.


I've developed a reputation among people who are closer to me. It's not really one I'm proud of, and I'm not happy with simply being known as "misunderstood". I feel like we are all misunderstood, but only to a certain extent. Misunderstandings come by way of the gift we all have, innate in us, with being born unique. Like our fingerprints and these snowflakes, you won't find two of a kind. But, my misunderstanding is one I feel the need to address because it has bled down into the core of my support and the force that moves me to carry on. I haven't always been the nicest person to the people in my family. I haven't always welcomed them like I should, and haven't always interacted with them as I should. We all have our days, but when these traits become a big part of your overall description, I feel the need to say something. I've been going through a lot, not saying that's the main reason, because who doesn't go through a lot? But, what I'm saying is, my reactions to situations that have happened lately has left me confused and wondering what to do next. My dad moved away to California to pursue his own dreams and happiness and I look at that as inspiration. After so many years of talking about something, he actually did it. I'm not mad at him for it at all, the issue is, what do I do now? He's always been a constant fixture in the midst of it all, so I'm wondering, am I the one who is to take that spot? If so, then how do I carry on where he left off? So, I've become stern, and more serious about the things I do and my interactions with people. I feel a certain defense must be upheld for my mother and myself. Because to add to that, we've also moved. She's really happy with the house, as am I, but people will be people and they will have their petty comments. I don't like petty comments. I don't really like people all too well, as you may know. So, I take it upon myself to stand up for us and defend us in any way that I can. The defensiveness has gotten out of hand and may even come off as rude, but I just wish I could find the words to explain how that's not the case. I'm trying to find my role in all of this. I'm growing up, and I'm developing the personality that I will probably maintain for the rest of my life; I just want to make sure it's the right one that brings about the best benefit for myself and my family. I'm not one to make excuses, in short, I'm impatient, sensitive, rude, mean and overall, confused as to how to deal with all the changes that have gone on in the past year. For all whom I've hurt, and for all who have been offended by anything I've said or by any of my actions, I sincerely apologize.


When I sat down here, my point was not to make this an apology letter, it was to enlighten. While I was on vacation, I had an argument with one of my friends and when she asked me what was wrong, and why I act the way I do, that was my answer. I told her that I couldn't afford to have a 21-year-old mentality right now. I told her that I may very well be always on edge because I can't necessarily afford to let my guard down right now. Before I realized it, I had shocked myself with my reply and it dawned on me that maybe I did need to work on some things. Later that day, I walked along the beach. It was more of a dreary day, but I enjoyed it. It wasn't crowded, the sun wasn't blinding, and the only sound was that of the wind, waves, and some laughter in the distance (perfect for a novel cover, right? lol). I called my mom and told her what I had disclosed to my friend, and she sounded like it made sense to her. It made perfect sense to me because for the first time in a long time I didn't have that pain in my chest and back. I didn't feel like I had to hold it all because finally other people knew what I was going through and could help alleviate some of the pressure. I only hope that, that day is the first day to many more revelations and beneficence on my behalf, that overall create a better person.


The reason why I say God works in mysterious ways because earlier today, I was feeling some kind of way. I can't really describe. It was a weird, awkward feeling. I was trying to hold some conversations with "friends" that weren't quite going the way I would have liked. So, I was sitting, thinking, trying to make myself get over it. Understand that things like this happen from time to time, just realize who's really important and who isn't. Minutes ago, I got a call from my aunt. She called and asked about my trip. We got into a conversation, with her asking me about school and ultimately suggesting some very useful information. Toward the end of the conversation, she said something I felt the need to share with everyone else. She told me, "The only sure way of failing is not to try." That stuck with me, because I had just changed my Facebook status (ugh, Facebook) to a list of things that I wanted to do to reach whatever goals I decide to set. I'll post the list, but the point is, she called and confirmed, without even knowing, everything I was thinking. I'll take that as God's way of giving me a thumbs up, and Him letting me know that He's in support of my growth. I believe it to be so, I find comfort in the message, I smile for the results and I'm thankful for it all. I hope this message finds you well, thanks for listening!


The List

1. Pray.

2. Form a plan.

3. Put that plan into action.

4. Plan for hiccups in that plan.

5. Love it when a plan comes together.

6. Enjoy the fruits of that labor.

7. Share the achievements with others.

"A Man Finds His Wife"

Howdy all! I know I just dropped some thoughts on you last night, but something came across my way and I just felt compelled to say something about it. Now, what I don't want to come off as, is over-opinionated. Never would I attempt to develop an arrogance which gives my opinion power it doesn't deserve. These are only thoughts I was having and felt comfortable enough with you to air out. Here goes . . .


So I'm just waking up, browsing the internet, trying to determine what I want to do right now. I could either go back to sleep, get some homework finished, or sit back and procrastinate until the pressure kicks in. I do tend to be more effective once the pressure is on. Anywho, while browsing, I end up at a website that one of my friends have a profile on. This young lady was asked a question. Her answer to the question is what sparked initiative on my behalf to say something. The question (in bold) and answer (in italics) are taken word for word as such:


Is there anybody that has your attention to be with? do you with them?
To be honest, my eyes are open. A man finds his wife. So I'm waiting to be found.

Alright, with that said, I argue back with, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" That was her answer to if anyone has her attention?! See, see, this is why I shake my head at night. I'm probably up thinking about why stupid answers like this exist. Responses like this only furthers the stereotype that the women of my generation need more help than I can ever hope to provide. Like, when I read that answer, I just picture here standing by a ledge, looking at her watch every now and then, hoping someone shows up to claim her. As she's standing there, her hair gradually grays, her clothes become tattered by the wind, and eventually dust has settled upon her. I mean, I feel bad that she actually believes that. Personally, I think it's sexist, but I'll get to that more a little later.


Now, don't get me wrong; I'm sure I know where this answer comes from. Proverbs 18:22 of the King James version of the bible states, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." (Also notice it says "whoso" and not "a man", shout out to the ladies who have also found themselves a good woman) Anyway, as I read that, I feel good. To me, it says that once I have that special person in my life, the Lord will smile upon our union and has completed his creation of the perfect being, and we are both closer to Him for our commitment. Besides, anyone who finds a good women will still, regardless, need the Lord on their side! Because, if you've never been with a woman, man oh man! Moving on. Never once, in the small, but powerful scripture, did I hear that "wife" waited for her husband to show up and "find" her. I even kept reading, to see if perhaps there was more to this, and it was, but nothing about a wait by any party. Also, my thing is (hi mama!) doesn't God reward action? I believe I've heard that somewhere before. No matter how much I sit here a pray, there is a part that I play in the reception of anything that God has for me. I pray, each time, that God guides me in the right direction . . . how can that happen if I'm constantly standing still? It can't. God needs me to move, and He'll gladly do the rest (as I believe it. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).


Besides preaching, there is another thing I find wrong with her statement. I personally believe it's sexist. Blatantly sexist. We are in the year 2010, and for her to still hold on to those medieval stereotypes is beyond me. Now, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if society wasn't also teaching girls to be independent, self-sufficient, and the benefits of not having or needing a man. So, which is? Are you independent enough to go find your own man? Or are you independent enough to take care of yourself, but not enough to go out and get yourself a mate? Something seems wrong here to me. I didn't mean to cut the girl down as such, but I feel like something had to be said because sadly, I bet she felt proud of herself for saying that. Others probably looked on in amazement at how wise her words were when, in actuality, they weren't! Let's get somethings together people, for the children's sake. If we're confused about what we believe, so shall they suffer.


Didn't know "next time" would come so soon, it's great talking to you again. Hope to talk with you again soon, until then, don't worry; it'll be all over in the morning.