I understand why they say we get "heated" in reference to our anger. Yesterday, I could have walked around outside at one point with no shirt on I was so angry. It is my own fault, but that only adds fuel to the flame because this whole mess could have been avoided with one little signature that was not on a check. So before I get into that, let me give you the backstory.
Its no secret at all that I have Michigan State University. While I can perhaps take pride in the fact that we had a good football season this year, the basketball team is lookin' good, or that so many of my "friends" go here, I cannot say that I like the administration of this institution. And this is not anything new, if you know me, you've heard me state openly my hate for this school since I arrived here. At the Academic Orientation Program (AOP), there was one of the loudest thunderstorms that I've ever heard. Maybe that was my sign. During that time, knowing how big the campus is now, they made us walk from the center of campus to our respective dorms. That was awful. To think of the distance, and how over excited we all were, and how annoyingly cheerful the tour guides were; I hated the environment. Anyway, it is no secret that I hate this school. I've tried to find reasons to want to stay here. I thought my friends would help me, my family would help the situation, girlfriends, or maybe it would get easier as time went along. No. In each area, there was not enough of a reason to change my perception.
I know, its sounds like I'm whining, and I may be. I'm still hurt by what I had to go through. And its no different than what others may go through, but how it affected me is what has me nearly shaken. It was such a long process before my tuition was paid for fall semester of my sophomore/junior year. Meaning, it just got paid yesterday. Why is that? Well, because after enduring the long process, all the paper work, the deadlines, and requirements for the first loan disbursement, I forgot to properly endorse the check. I was so happy when I finally paid it the first time, because I no longer had to worry about that. I could focus on my studies. But, weeks later, after the refund check money was spent, and my guard was down, I receive a letter saying that my check had been returned. I got this letter twice. I even had to sign for it as a package at one point. According to the loan company, I had 3 chances to properly endorse the check, but when it was sent back, Michigan State did not have it. They did not even know where it was. All they had was a copy of the check. So, every time I went to them, they held this voided copy of the check up at me with a stupid look on their faces. You would think if that's where you work, and what you do for a living, you would have a better understanding of how things work, or at least be able to help me with the process. Instead, I was threatened that if I didn't do something, my enrollment would be canceled. They threatened me, several times, without giving me any decent procedure to go through to get them their payment. Luckily for me, I guess, I was able to call the loan company and their bank, to help with everything. All they needed was that copy of the check that the "nice, hardworking" administration had. After I sent that to them, it took a while for their departments to send out a duplicate check. I mean, it was a hassle on both ends, but at least the loan company didn't just tell me what I already knew. They got the ball rolling with check traces, and made sure I understood what into the procedure. So, I knew why it would take so long. You think Michigan State understood any of that. No. I basically should be grateful for all the extensions I was given, yet ignore the demeaning way I was treated. I was made to feel like my money was not good enough whether they had it or not. I was made to feel like I was lucky to even be considered a Michigan State University. I don't think Michigan State is a good enough university to call someone with the potential to change the world like myself a Spartan.
Even though it was my mistake for not doing what I needed to do, I've more than paid for it. I have $1 in my pocket, and this school will be lucky if I even buy another pack of Skittles on campus. I've been disenrolled, I've been talked to like I was stupid, and I've been looked at like I didn't belong here. The process of getting all your classes back after you get disenrolled is not easy. Its strenuous, and you have to pretty much go beg either your professors, or the department heads for each class to let you back in. All these people probably pitied me. But, thats fine. I am back in for good now, and I can focus on finals. My point in all this is, there are too many reasons for me to get put out, and not enough reasons to keep me around. College is supposed to be my stepping stone, but who's using who? You take my thousands of dollars per semester, yet you put me out if my grades aren't high enough because the professors "challenge" me? I have to pay for classes I don't need because of university requirements? The only requirements I should fulfill is the thousands of dollars I pay for the name of the university. I've gotten tickets for parking in areas that no one had permits for, but because there was tailgating, I didn't have the right. I was ticketed because I took a spot from a tailgater. Someone who's only there every other weekend who hasn't paid thousands of dollars for an education get more favor than I do. Whenever I succeed, however that may be, I will not be one of those grateful alumni that give back. I'm not Steve Smith, or Magic Johnson. I guess if had been an athlete, or rich, or someone to add something more to this school I would have been treated different. My money is no good here, even though its a large amount of it, its no good. I was an average high school student who got here probably due to affirmative action and bring nothing to benefit them. That's fine. Everyone who is rich, or who is an athlete I have nothing against you. I just hope that you appreciate the favor shown to you.
If it was up to me, I'd leave today and never come back. I would work on my book and give focus to that which really matters. But in growing up, I've learned that there are times when nothing goes right and somehow, someway, we are to seek out the hope. I think its called having faith. That may be it, or I may just be too stupid to understand that I shouldn't stay where I'm not wanted. I don't know.
Until next time, don't be a failure . . . despite what anyone or anything tries to tell you.
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