Minor Thoughts #7: Music

Remember when you listened to your favorite song around some of your older relatives, then, almost like clockwork, you'd hear, "You kids today don't know what real music is"? I remember, and I think it has taken me until now to understand what they meant by that. I grew up in a house with southern, older parents; so I got the chance to hear some of the the music they grew up listening to. Johnnie Taylor, Isaac Hayes, Teddy P., The O'Jays, The Temptations, James Brown, and Luther just to name a few. I won't say I was particularly fond of any of this when I was younger. Actually, I hated it. I was spoiled, so I mostly hated the fact that I didn't get the chance to play my music through the big speakers. Back then "Old School" wasn't what I was into. But it's funny how things change. See, today, I'm riding around in the car listening to the same 5 songs over and over again, that didn't gain any more substance than when I heard them on the previous station. When I got home for summer vacation a few weeks back, I hadn't listened to the radio much at all. But in the short time I've been back, I've already realize, apparently, "what's hot." With rap, I think we've seen this coming for some time now. Things have become to text book, and gimmicky, that authentic hip-hop has fallen by the wayside. Well now, it would seem that R&B is suffering that same fate. I can't speak for other genres, as I don't keep as close of an ear on those as I do these two. But what I can say is, if you turn off the radio, you may hear something you didn't know you were missing.
I truly have an urge to open my mind, and let in everything that could be potentially beneficial. The message in certain music, and the stories told by certain artist can sometimes get you through the most difficult trials, to the happiest times. That's part of the beauty in music. Everyone can hear it, but not everyone will take away the same things from it. If it were in my cards, I would love to do music. Not just for the money or the fame, but for the beauty to telling a story in a way that touches not only the ears, but the soul. So as I listen to my radio, I wonder how many of these songs even come close to that? To do that, you have to go beyond talent, and search for the gift. It is a gift to be able to produce something that gets a reaction out of people. To make someone dance, cry, sing-a-long, and even feel better is a gift that very few truly have. I appreciate those who use their gifts for the right reasons.
On any given day, you can find me listening to some "unconventional" music. By that I mean it's not what you would expect someone my age to listen to. It's either before my time, or outside of the two aforementioned genres. But that's what I like. If you know me, you know that if there is any way to go against the general population, I'm all for it (please do not take that as literal as it sounds). So, when you hear me listening to Isaac Hayes - Walk on By, or the O'Jays - Cry Together, you may think I'm going through something but in actuality I'm not (not every time you hear it at least). I simply enjoy the artistry and message that they provide. The soul and the feeling they invest into the song. That is what I feel separates the music of yesterday from the music of today. Singers, rappers, "artists" don't own their songs. I don't means the rights, or anything, I mean when they sing it, they don't own it. There is little to no emotion, with little to know deeper meaning. A lot of it seems superficial. When you listen to Teddy Pendergrass, YOU KNOW its Teddy Pendergrass. Or Al Green, or Marvin Gaye, or Luther Vandross. They owned their songs. Took what was written and made it their own. They set the bar for other artist of the time and I think that maybe why you had so many different sounds back then. So many different legends putting in work at once, because the healthy competition drove them to do so. Now, the competition isn't as healthy in my opinion. If one person does something, the next person feels they must at least match that to sale. It's all about record sales, and because it has come to that, the cruel irony is that sales have dropped. I think a few people still understand this, so they bring more to the table than recitation of written lyrics.
I don't want to brag and boast about who I listen to, and why they're better than anyone else in particular. But, I will highlight reasons on why I feel they are worth mentioning. Since I'm a gentleman, I'll start with ladies first. I think Jazmine Sullivan. I listened to her album and really enjoyed it. It was creative. She didn't just "sing" on every song, she added herself to them. I believe she also wrote a lot of the material on her album, and I can always respect that. Other female artist worth mentioning I believe is Floetry (even though they've broken up), I heard Jill Scott was very good, and Jennifer Hudson can sing as well (even though she annoys me). In regards to men, I'm reluctant to take a lot of people serious these days. I mean, just think about the common blueprint for R&B lately, and it seems pretty obvious that record execs have a chart in an office somewhere and check-off everything needed for a decent song. But me personally, I'm a fan of Ne-Yo, Raheem DeVaughn, Dwele, Joe, Day 26 and even T-Pain. I think what many people misattribute to T-Pain is that somehow or another he caused the death on R&B and I don't believe that's true. It's not his fault that his popularity and momentum sold records for himself as well as others. It was those who felt they needed a niche who decided to follow the pattern closer and closer. T-Pain can sing, but decided to edit his voice to give a different sound. I guess it was "monkey-see, monkey-do" for everyone else. So, I don't blame T-Pain, and actually like his music. I'm pretty sure I'll catch a lot of flack for Day 26. I mean, we all watched the show, but who honestly takes everything they see on tv for face value? Even so, regardless of what they do outside of the studio, as long as they put 100% inside the booth, I can't be mad. I loved both of their cds, and have them on constant rotation. Dudes can sing, all 5 of them. That's rare. It's not like two can, with the rest as backup singers. Naw, all 5 can be lead singers on any song. I'll bump both cds out loud in front of anyone who would tell me different. Joe recently hasn't been nearly as good as he was in the past. All That I Am is one of my favorite cds. He's a writer and can sing with th best of them. Raheem Devaughn and Dwele are both very underrated to me. I won't compare to the two, as they are very different artist; but I believe each one of them have uncharted talent that's also underappreciated. If R&B needed generals to lead the charge to find its soul, I would call on these two in a heartbeat. Ne-Yo has been a favorite of mine since his first album. Since then, he's just been getting better. Singer, songwriter, and has credit for writting some of your favorite singers' songs. I really respect dude for sticking with what brought him to the dance.
With that short list, it doesn't nearly describe everyone or everything that stands out about today's music. We all have that occassional stupid song we like that we have to defend to others. But I'm saying that as much as the music scene has changed for the worst, it also has change for the better over the horizon. Even Hip-Hop. Drake's album will be cold, Eminem just dropped a new album, Young Jeezy's and Jadakiss' albums were great, Busta Rhymes is on his way with another. Kanye is still pumping out hits and trying new things, plus Jay-Z and 50 cent have at least two more on the way I believe. So, it's not all bad. I look forward to turning on the radio again and hearing song that actually should be on there, with enough material whereas I won't have to hear the same song twice while in the car. We can dream, can't we?
Until next time, don't be a failure . . . stay creative.

Perfectionism

There were so many things I wanted to sit down a talk about with you, but at first it was the time constraint and now it's the feeling. This nagging feeling that won't allow to sit down and focus hard enough on what I want to say. No good conversation happening to stimulate my most complex thoughts, and no alone time to meditate on anything intriguing. It seems as though I've finally come to appreciate the simple solace a single dorm room can offer. Being at home is all a drag just because of where I am, it's my attitude towards it all. Like, I enjoy seeing my parents, playing the dependent role every now and then, and seeing the family on a regular basis; that's all good. I have a problem, and this problem remains consistent in nearly every aspect of my life and that problem is that I am a perfectionist. Perfectionism, in my case, is not the thrive for perfection, but the unwillingness to accept anything less. And as you may think, it is potentially a very dangerous mindset to have. Imagine my ordeal; never satisfied with my work, always having to settle on that which I can't make any better, and pretty much finding the flaws in nearly any circumstance. Don't get me wrong, some good has come out of it. I feel like I don't take as many unnecessary risk as I'm always thinking about the worse case scenario, and ways to make it the best. I'm able to read people (to a certain degree) to better understand what to say and what not say as to make the conversation/interaction as good as possible. But, it is when this is taken too far, that the danger occurs. In my case, I'm so cynical about people and their motives, that I choose not to spend much of time around anyone. I plan ahead for events so tough, that when I can't account for enough of it, I just end up not going. So claim that I miss out, but I don't feel that I miss any of it, since I've never experienced it much. My perfectionist ways are not new, but maybe I just have more surrounding me lately that brings on that anxiety.
Finals week was tough, I truly hope everyone did well and all their stress was worth it. My stress seems to have just begun again. I took my break the day after my last final, but since then packing/unpacking, moving, getting lost, and back spasms. I would guess the spasms are perhaps a result of the moving, but either way, they add to the dynamic of the situation. The reason I'm still up in these early hours of the morning are not because I'm not tired, but because I'm uncomfortable. I've spent an hour or so trying to put together my TV stand. A piece of junk in that is useless if even one item among its content is broken or lost. No extras. But, this being me, one piece did break. So I had to deal with super glue, tape, fire (don't ask) all which inevitably failed. So now, though it looks as though nothing is wrong, I know. And the fact that I know will continually haunt me as I use it. Eventually, I'll buy another one, but for now, I have to deal. And to a perfectionist, to simply deal is hell. My hell doesn't end with the TV stand. There are boxes, and suitcases, and clothes all over the place, with nowhere to me to put anything. Without going on a rant, allow to me to make this long story short; Because of the anxiety that accompanies the perfectionism, not only can I not do anything about the huge mess I've caused by moving back home, I can't even sit down comfortably to think about what could be done to alleviate it.
Like I've said earlier, this way of thinking stretches nearly to ever facet of my life. The way I get my hair cut, the places I go (as finding new places require following directions that I can't fully trust), even to the music I listen. I've been so frustrated riding around since I've been home because of how irritating the music on the radio is today. I don't know whether it's just because I'm getting older, or because the quality of music has significantly gone down (I guess both would be true technically), but I'm just lost on how certain songs made it from the studio to our stereos. I feel like this needs further examination, and I will talk about it later on, but the point is I cannot listen to music just because everyone else likes it as I hear too many flaws within it. Lyrical syllables aren't sensible, and often time illogical. I'll just shake my head at it for now.
I've written papers that I can never read again, edited photographs that I nit-pick at every time I see them, and can't even take notes because I'm too cautious of making a mistake, causing a scratch-out (white-out sucks too, but I'd use it over scratching something out). Everything is tied to this idea that I can be less than perfect. I've been in too many conversations about too many people and I fear what people have to say about me when I'm not in the room. My goal is to cover every area as to give them nothing to say. But the ultimate fallacy with perfectionism is that nothing is perfect. Nothing can be perfect, so therefore my goals are lessened. My dreams face the possibility of never being fulfilled due to being unsatisfied with all that I do. So in my mind, no matter what I overcome, what I achieve, what I do, it will simply leave me with content feelings. If I were a wiser man I'd say that the acceptance of my condition, and the ability to fight through it all while making myself the best that I can be is the perfect story, and the best way I can live. The perfect result. Perfection isn't everything, failure can be. Don't be a failure.