Question of the Day

This has really been on my mind lately, and it has taken me some time to come up with what I want to say, and how I would want to say it. I've never been one to care much about celebrity gossip, and before you think I'm going there, think again. Yes, we have all heard the story, different variations and rumors, about two popular, young, talented celebrities intertwined in a domestic abuse situation. My focus initially was the pain I felt for the young woman, the presumed victim, in the situation. I admit, I am also wrong in the way I go about things. But that is my human nature. It was only naturally for me to feel like she was the victim and he was the villain. The mistake is taking sides in a situation in which all the facts are not present. A friend told me that there are always 3 sides to every story: that's her side, his side, and the truth. I don't know the truth, and really don't know either of their sides. My point here today is to give you my side, which is the bigger, broader issue that has arisen here. With that, my question is simply: When is it okay to put your hands violently on a woman?

The short answer (from this Gentleman's perspective of course) is no. It is never alright, acceptable, okay, or even approved to put your hands on the fairer sex. As a gentleman, I can say that, and get cheers and nods of approval from all my female readers. And I wish it were how things really were, but its not. As my male readers are well aware of, some women are begging to be put in their place. There is no way around it. Some women out there are all about causing trouble and are willing to go there with a man just to get that rise out of him. I don't know why, and don't clearly understand how a woman cannot see the signs of how manipulative she's being. How can you go so far as to put your life in danger just because you want your loud and obnoxious point made? You all know, I am a huge fan of The Maury Show. And on most episodes there is a woman on there who claims that the father of her child just might not be the father or her child. And most of the time, that is because she cheated on him. On the flip side, there is always a guy on there who wants to do the right thing and take care of his kids, but a woman who wants to prove that her baby is not his. The strength it takes that man not to level that woman to her knees is beyond me. The point is, there are situations where a woman is asking to be hit, but should we do it? Yes we want to, and we want to see it happen. But no, we cannot.

I always hate hearing those stories about how controlling a man is or needs to be where his lady is not allowed to do or say certain things without his approval. Any mistake, any act of independence on her part angers him, and the only way to restore order to his now "out of control" home is to beat her. In this case, there is nothing at all funny. And my heart goes out to any woman who is abused at any time. I can barely even imagine what it would be like to have someone over me at all times and even the most minor mistakes on my part are punished by punches and kicks . . . if not worse. Imagine always having to explain to family and friends why bruises occur so frequently. Imagine how the children feel having to watch as the person they love the most succumbs to an unjust "punishment" for her actions. What type of affect could that have on their psyche? What if they feel that's the way all women should be treated? I'm here to say that it is not. No one deserves to be treated like a misbehaved animal.

You have to understand, that those women discussed earlier who "have it coming" are not ladies anyway. A real lady knows how to act like a lady and any problems she has she knows how to get her point across. Remember. Any man that puts his hand on a woman to prove his point or restore order in his family is not a real man at all. Real men have an earned respect of being the head of their household where they don't need to prove their dominance through violence. These, for lack of a better word, men are simply cowards. Cowards who are afraid to let their women be themselves because if that was the case, these ladies would realize how much better they could really do.

My conclusion, without taking a side in the celebrity situation, is that at no point should a woman have violent hands placed upon her. In that particular situation, I think we all fall victim to the physical attractiveness stereotype. That is, the belief that attractive individuals possess socially desirable personality traits and lead happier lives than you and I. As we can see, that is not the case. Each side taken falls prey to the belief in that stereotype. People would believe the male involved is innocent (and the female had it coming) because of how much they like him. That would have to be due to his looks because I'm sure most people have not gotten to know him on a personal level. I fall into this category because of the attractiveness of the female involved. To me, I see her as a victim and this attack was unprovoked (or at least not worth her abuse) because I feel she is a better person, though I don't know her personally. Plus, I was wrong in choosing a side without hearing all the facts (still, I won't look at the picture of the result of her abuse and still will not listen to his music or acknowledge his existence). We are human, and emotions run wild for different reasons in different situations. Not everyone can be in control all the time. And for that, I apologize.

I hope what I've said here today finds you well. I tried not to pump anymore gossip into your brains. I'm not a smut pusher, but I felt there was a more important message that needed to be addressed. At their young age, they should not even be at a point in any relationship where violence is involved. We're too young to have to deal with that. And in any relationship, if their is violence then there is obviously an underlying problem that needs to be taken care of. That problem may simply be that the the two of you do not need to be together. And one of you needs professional help. It is not okay to hit a woman, and it is not okay to purposely provoke a man. That is my take on it. Maybe now we can pray in the right way and help bring an end to a sad saga. So, don't be a failure, just walk away.